How to Overcome Resistance to Help

Although getting in-home care may be the best thing for your loved one, you shouldn’t be surprised if they show some resistance to the idea. Remember that this is an adult who has been managing their life on their own for many years. You are asking them to give up some of their independence, and that can be a difficult transition for many people to make. Don’t expect them to warm to the idea after a single conversation. Start early (before a major health crisis) and give them time to get used to the idea of in-home care.

If your loved one remains strongly opposed to getting help, here are some strategies you can use to work through it:

• Remind them that you are on their side. You both have the same goal, which is for them to remain independent for as long as possible. By hiring in-home care, they will be able to stay in their home for longer.
• Try to understand why they are resisting, and acknowledge whatever anxiety, anger, or fear they may be feeling. They may just want to know that you are listening, and that they have been heard.
• Make sure they understand your reasons for wanting to hire home care. It may be that they don’t fully understand what your feelings are either.

• Be careful about how you approach the conversation. If you go into it already irritated and expecting a fight, you may get one. Be as patient as possible.
• Suggest that they do a trial run just to see how it goes; this allows them to get used to the idea before making a firm commitment. Start slowly with short visits so that the caregiver won’t be a stranger on the first day.
• If your loved one is concerned about the cost of home care, sit down with them and explain how you are going to cover the costs. Also, remind them that the cost of a home care worker may be less expensive than receiving care at an assisted living facility, may only be temporary while they are recovering from an illness or injury, and will keep them living in their home longer and more independently.
• Ultimately, as long as they are not a danger to themselves, you should not try to force help on your loved one. Respect their decision, even if you think it is a bad one. They might not be ready for help now, but if you force the issue you will only build resentment and make it more difficult to address later on.

• Sometimes having a third party involved can help. If your loved one is putting up a wall whenever you try to discuss home care with them, ask another family member or one of their friends to try.

• Include them in the decision-making process as much as possible. By asking them to help choose the agency or caregiver, they will feel a greater sense of control over the situation.

First Class Home Care Inc. is a home care agency that is experienced in dealing with difficult transition cases and will work patiently with you and your loved as they realize that accepting outside help can be a difficult process. They are there to encourage and support independence with the goals of getting you back on your feet, post injury or illness and will be there to support you as long as you need them.

Terri-Lynne Rade has been passionate about the care of others for over 28 years. She started with a degree in nursing in a hospital setting, then caring for seniors in their homes, as well as retirement homes. She has worked as a floor nurse, visiting nurse, a clinical supervisor for over eight hundred personal support workers, and as a Director of Care and General Manager in retirement homes.
Terri-Lynne continues to bring that passion for excellent care to her company, First Class Home Care Inc. Committed to being a leader in non-medical in-home support services for seniors and disabled adults, First Class Home Care Inc. cares for those in a wide range of southern Ontario cities, including Etobicoke West, Mississauga, Brampton, Oakville, Milton, and Georgetown. You can reach her at www.firstclasshomecareinc.com or by calling 905-636-9995.